AI: The ultimate slacker's dream come true
- Reference: 1759737615
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2025/10/06/at_last_microsoft_leads_the/
- Source link:
UK government trial of M365 Copilot finds no clear productivity boost [1]READ MORE
So says a study from Stanford, which has surveyed corporate America and found [2]AI has infiltrated inter-employee communiction , creating emails and other documents that are difficult to act on and clog up process and progress. Plenty of dollars per worker per month are being lost coping with this, with many expressing a low opinion of others who generate AI docs.
The inference is that this is a problem with the technology, but from another angle it may be one of its most laudable strengths. It is certainly one of its closest alignments with the actual needs of many humans. AI is advancing the art of shirking.
Decried by the managerial class as lazy, shoddy, anti-productive behaviour to be called out, sought out and stamped out, work avoidance is actually one of the finest acts of self-empowerment in the corporate world.
It is a subversive rebellion against oppression, a shining bulwark against erosion of the soul, and a just response to the disrespect in which so many organizations hold their employees. AI, far from eliminating so-called inefficiencies, is by far the best new weapon for workers in this war.
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Good honest work avoidance is a skill, an adaptive mindset that carefully calculates how much effort to put into finding and refining new strategies while disguising itself from discovery. Unless good fortune has sent you a lifetime supply of free money, true laziness requires the moral fortitude to reject materialist hedonism and accept the social exclusion that poverty brings.
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[5]
The employed workshy must expend effort to achieve their preferred level of intellectual indolence while seeming to serve their masters. AI is removing much of that burden, and their masters are even paying handsomely for it. The more companies like Microsoft push AI into the workplace, the more they charge for it, the more they advance the cause of subversion. Sweet indeed in the nostrils of the godly.
The history of shirking is rich and runs deep in our culture. Sailors of the age of sail had to take regular depth soundings by paying out a heavy lead weight on a very long rope until it touched the seabed, then hauling it back in, again and again. They discovered that by swinging the lead just below the surface it looked as if they were fully engaged while requiring massively less effort.
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Then as now, swinging the lead really annoys the boss, if they catch you at it. In more modern but still pre-digital times, draughtsmen worked en masse in large offices on inclined drawing boards. The supervisor sat in front, facing the back of the boards. Work could be simulated by moving the rulers whose ends were visible over the top and to the sides of the boards, just enough to placate the overseer while allowing the mind to drift elsewhere.
Return on investment for Copilot? Microsoft has work to do [7]READ MORE
Most recently, office PCs have seen the evolution of the boss key, which instantly throws up an image of a spreadsheet to cover Minesweeper or Solitaire, a job now taken over by careful task sequencing on Alt-Tab. See also the creation of the mouse twitcher, which simulates pointer movements to keep screens alive and distract workplace activity monitoring software. Developers in the days of slow computers and slower networks knew well the skill of making automated tasks like build or back-up as thorough and time-consuming as possible. Advances in technology made such arcane knowledge obsolete. AI is more than redressing this, equipping everyone with new tools with more promise than ever.
Take e-procrastination, the tactic of slowing down progress by sending emails. These may be requests for information or clarification, or the presenting of information that looks relevant but isn’t. Anything that justifies waiting for a reply. AI is very good at this, up and down or across the organization's hierarchy. It can effortlessly recast existing facts in a new way, which can be used to elicit a confirmation or, even better, a further request for clarification in return. Microsoft's sales pitch for AI at every point of planning and execution is an open invitation to inject the squid ink of sophistry, an invitation being eagerly accepted across the board.
AI, at least in the guise of LLM generative systems, is truly masterful at creating plausible narratives that wear the clothes of usefulness around a skeletal body bereft of life. This is exactly aligned with the tactics and strategy of the shirker, with an extra level of plausible deniability if caught out. That AI is rapidly being mandated for all workers, with Microsoft even trying to [8]bypass IT departments by appealing directly to users to use personal Copilot accounts in the office , is a generational change in work avoidance.
The ethics of shirking are a debate in themselves. What of the ship that runs aground because of faked soundings? The dishonesty of taking a salary for a job not done? Against that, what of unreasonable rigidity in place of proper management, or concentrating the rewards of working in one place and the miseries of boredom and insecurity in another? Work avoidance is certainly a form of hypocrisy, but it exists in dynamic equilibrium in the whole framework of hypocrisy that underpins so much of working life.
[9]Linux has the lineage to out-evolve the deadliest of cyber threats, given the right push
[10]Curious connections: Voyager probes and Sinclair ZX Spectrum
[11]VMware's in court again. Customer relationships rarely go this wrong
[12]How Windows 11 is breaking from its bedrock and moving away
Thus it is no surprise that AI, which claims to be many things while being something other, is so good a fit for those that would synthesize the appearance of work to one set of rules while living by another. Of course it has no measurable benefit to productivity, whatever that may be, while soaking up time and effort to the detriment of all stated aims. It grants agency to those who see no reward in taking out a full subscription to employer diktat.
People want to do a good job that makes a difference, and they want the status and material rewards of having that recognised. AI can certainly help with that.
[13]
If the working environment denies the dignity that comes from making a difference, then it will help with the natural consequences of humans stuck in a bad system.
We can choose to listen to which way this game is going, or we can choose to misinterpret it. That means honesty over hypocrisy. AI can't help with that. ®
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[1] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/04/m365_copilot_uk_government/
[2] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/26/ai_workslop_productivity/
[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/aiml&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2aOOTPs67KEK5gRE0uP3BmQAAAI8&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0
[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/aiml&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44aOOTPs67KEK5gRE0uP3BmQAAAI8&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/aiml&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33aOOTPs67KEK5gRE0uP3BmQAAAI8&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/aiml&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44aOOTPs67KEK5gRE0uP3BmQAAAI8&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/17/return_on_investment_for_copilot/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2025/10/01/microsoft_consumer_copilot_corporate/
[9] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/22/linux_has_the_lineage_to/
[10] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/15/curious_connections_between_the_voyager/
[11] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/08/vmware_in_court_opinion/
[12] https://www.theregister.com/2025/08/29/opinion_windows_11/
[13] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_software/aiml&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33aOOTPs67KEK5gRE0uP3BmQAAAI8&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0
[14] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/
No surprise there then
The perfect tool for idiot middle managers to show how good they are at their job and allow them to get rid of the people who do the real work.
All will be well until the AI generated code meets a condition that he didn't (or rather couldn't) dream up. Then there will no one left to clear up the managers mess. Much like wannabe coders who cut/paste from stackoverflow etc.
At first they came for the code junkies
...
...
Then there was no one left and they came for me.
Maybe it's just me ...
But cleaning up behind AI slop on many levels and bringing overly optimistic expectations of AI prototypes in line with reality feels like it creates more work or make existing work harder.
OK, only in case you care for actual results instead of being happy to have new non-deterministic AI components built in a new business or technical context, just for the sake of it...
Beaurocracy, beaurocracy
As any organisation grows, it slowly gets suffocated by beaurocracy. And as followers of the documentary "Yes, Minister" are all too aware, a beaurocrats sucess is measured not by results, but by budget (or headcount if in the public services).
Whether there's any actual productive work to be done is largely irrelevant. Finding something to do to fill in the long empty hours pretending to work is as close as many get to "creativity" in their day to day activities.
AI has come to the rescue of many!
Bullshit generation for Bullshit jobs requiring more people to handle Bullshit
Of course it [AI] has no measurable benefit to productivity, whatever that may be...
But there is a measurable effect. It generates more Bullshit that needs to be handled (and volume of communication is surely mistaken for a solid measure of productivity).
It is the new Bullshit generation engine that creates new jobs to handle Bullshit and generate more Bullshit until we all Shit ourselves as professional Bulls.
"up and down or across the organization's hierarchy"
" e-procrastination, the tactic of slowing down progress by sending emails. These may be requests for information or clarification, or the presenting of information that looks relevant but isn’t. Anything that justifies waiting for a reply. AI is very good at this, up and down or across the organization's hierarchy. It can effortlessly recast existing facts in a new way, which can be used to elicit a confirmation or, even better, a further request for clarification in return. "
This reminded me of MC Escher's [1]Ascending and Descending where the cowled figures are meant to suggest monks which in turn according my (Dutch) Maths lecturer fifty years ago who was a fan of, and rather the full bottle on Escher, the phrase monks' work which apparently in Dutch decribe exactly these pointless tasks.
[1] https://flashbak.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/ascending-and-descending-escher-1960.jpg
You only have to read the AI-generated descriptions on eBay to realize what a world of generic, inaccurate shit we are stumbling into. E.g.
"The Men’s Slazenger Golf Shorts in black are perfect for the summer season, with a lightweight design that ensures comfort during golfing activities. The 34-inch waist size and regular fit make them suitable for most men, while the stylish black colour adds a sleek touch to the classic shorts style. Made by the reputable brand Slazenger, these shorts combine functionality and fashion, making them a great choice for any golfer looking for high-quality and breathable clothing options."
The fact that the seller was happy to list with this description leads me to form an impression of them which doesn't make me want to buy anything from them, even if they fitted me (I'm not in the set of "most men" as defined by eBay's AI).
If I still worked in the corporate world then anyone who worked for me who OK'd drivel like this would be having a hard time at their next appriasal.
Introducing the Slazenger Men’s Golf Shorts (in the rare and sacred shade of Black) - not just shorts, but a lifestyle decision. Engineered for the modern man who demands excellence from every stitch of fabric that dares to grace his thighs, these shorts redefine what it means to exist comfortably on a golf course - or, frankly, anywhere.
Imagine stepping onto the green, sunlight glinting off your nine iron, while your legs whisper “premium airflow” with every stride. That’s not polyester you feel - that’s ambition, woven into a lightweight textile symphony tuned to the key of “summer dominance.”
With a 34-inch waist (scientifically determined to be the waist of champions), these shorts don’t just fit - they embrace. The regular fit says, “I’m here to play,” while the sleek black hue screams, “I could attend a board meeting straight after this birdie.” Whether you’re smashing drives or just standing there pretending to think about wind direction, you’ll look effortlessly athletic, dangerously stylish, and vaguely mysterious.
Crafted by Slazenger - a name whispered reverently in changing rooms and half-remembered sports documentaries - these shorts are not merely made, they are manifested. They fuse fashion with function, like James Bond and a Peloton instructor had a design meeting. Every thread exudes breathable confidence, and every hem radiates “limited edition energy,” even though they’re absolutely not.
So go ahead. Slip into greatness. These aren’t just golf shorts; they’re a black hole of attention where compliments go to die. Whether you’re lining up your next shot or simply existing at a barbecue, you’ll feel lighter, faster, and 74% more photogenic.
Because in a world full of trousers trying too hard, only one short dares to keep it classy, breezy, and algorithm-friendly.
Slazenger Men’s Golf Shorts - engineered for performance, worn for legend.
What a poetic article
The author has taken every opportunity to wax lyrical in a beautiful way :
- work avoidance is actually one of the finest acts of self-empowerment in the corporate world
- a subversive rebellion against oppression, a shining bulwark against erosion of the soul, and a just response to the disrespect in which so many organizations hold their employees
- true laziness requires the moral fortitude to reject materialist hedonism and accept the social exclusion that poverty brings
- achieve their preferred level of intellectual indolence while seeming to serve their masters
- the clothes of usefulness around a skeletal body bereft of life
- it exists in dynamic equilibrium in the whole framework of hypocrisy
- the working environment denies the dignity that comes from making a difference
That was a very pleasant read on a subject that could have been just a dry repetition of survey results.
Well done !
Work is transactional
I don't mind that. Boss wants something to be done and pays person to do it. Sometimes that person is me.
I'm happy, my boss just lets me do stuff as I please, and I can let him shovel the manure (from higher up) out of my path or escalate stuff to the powers that be so some colleagues actually do what they should, so I can work.
What is bad is micro managing gits that get in our way, questioning every move, interfering with my work and neglecting the manure shoveling (see above). Also bad is success being measured in hours present, not things achieved. (1) and this just causes people to simulate work.
What AI does is create "statistically convincing" documents that clog up processes. They not only avoid doing their own work, they also hinder my work, and this is where it becomes personal. While I'm not particularly fond of my job or my company, doing some successful work helps me to survive my week.
(1) I like having a fixed number of hours per week and control over how much I actually work (plus the ability to tell people to sod off after hours), though these are more guidelines. Some weeks I'm home early, some I'm home late (well... upstairs, basement home office cave and all). Some days I can just take time in lieu if I feel like it (and my boss ok's it, which he usually does).
Empowerment
"work avoidance is actually one of the finest acts of self-empowerment in the corporate world."
Not only there. AI are considered the manna from heaven in schools and universities.
It has now become possible to finish high school and university with the highest grades without actually studying. No need to pay or bully others to do your assignments anymore.
All of a student's time can now be spend gaming and on social media.