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  ARM Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life (Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Slow Wi-Fi? Add houseplants to the list of suspects

(2025/09/23)


Houseplants could be slowing down your Wi-Fi, according to Broadband Genie, which reckons surfers can increase broadband speeds by almost 40 percent just by moving their router away from any greenery.

The UK internet price comparison service has come out with a classic piece of silly season promotion - and, yes, we are covering it to make readers smile.

Having large houseplants or an extensive collection of indoor plants can impact your broadband speed, [1]Broadband Genie states. This is because moist soils and dense foliage can absorb and deflect signals, and while this effect is typically only minor, in a small flat or room with lots of plants this can have a real and measurable impact on your internet speed, it claims.

[2]

Of course, there is some element of truth in this, in that all materials will absorb or attenuate radio signals to a certain extent. But in a typical home, the walls and intervening floors and ceilings are likely to be the biggest barriers to Wi-Fi signals, unless perhaps, your house is a cannabis farm.

[3]

[4]

Not to mention interference from your neighbors' networks, if you have numerous other homes close by (this writer has many neighbors and can report five or six other networks visible when using a Wi-Fi analyzer app).

However, Broadband Genie advises not to tuck your router or Wi-Fi access point away behind plant pots, which seems a strange thing to do anyway, and to keep it as far away from your plants as possible.

[5]

The biz claims that in an experiment by "Broadband Genie researchers," it found moving your router away from your houseplants could increase the broadband speed by 36 percent. This could be because they moved the router closer to whatever device they were testing with.

"We were shocked to discover just how much of a difference it can make simply moving your router away from your houseplant collection," says the firm's "Broadband Expert" Peter Ames.

"Take stock of where your plants are and where your router is currently placed, and do what you can to ensure your router has a clear path to where your internet is most used, with no houseplants blocking your Wi-Fi signal."

[6]FCC plans to kill Wi-Fi on school buses, hotspots for library patrons

[7]Classic Psion fan releases proof-of-concept language server for OPL

[8]How to find forgotten Wi-Fi passwords and SSIDs in Windows and Android

[9]Australian university used Wi-Fi location data to identify student protestors

Other advice on the interwebs indicates the [10]best plants to buy and keep in your home in order to absorb all that harmful electromagnetic radiation that is emitted by modern gadgets such as, you know, computers and wireless networks.

Broadband Genie suggests deploying a mesh network or using Wi-Fi extenders to sidestep any absorption issues. Alternatively, consider a wired connection, it says. Powerline network kit, which uses the mains wiring, is pretty much as fast and reliable as Ethernet these days.

[11]

Meanwhile, the [12]Wi-Fi 8 standard , which is still under development, is set to focus on greater reliability and delivering a better experience, by using techniques such as steering the signal toward the intended receiver. However, this is not expected to be finalized until 2028.

Move those pesky plants today people. ®

Get our [13]Tech Resources



[1] https://www.broadband.co.uk/

[2] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2aNLEFTXlKv9ZXuKUE_V1qQAAA5c&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[3] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44aNLEFTXlKv9ZXuKUE_V1qQAAA5c&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[4] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33aNLEFTXlKv9ZXuKUE_V1qQAAA5c&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[5] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=4&c=44aNLEFTXlKv9ZXuKUE_V1qQAAA5c&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D4%26raptor%3Dfalcon%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[6] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/05/fcc_to_kill_wifi_school_buses/

[7] https://www.theregister.com/2025/08/27/vintage_computing_boffin_resurrects_opl/

[8] https://www.theregister.com/2025/07/25/find_wifi_passwords_ssids_windows_android/

[9] https://www.theregister.com/2025/08/25/asia_tech_news_in_brief/

[10] https://bokashiliving.com/anti-rad-plants-in-your-home/

[11] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/front&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=3&c=33aNLEFTXlKv9ZXuKUE_V1qQAAA5c&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D3%26raptor%3Deagle%26pos%3Dmid%26test%3D0

[12] https://www.theregister.com/2025/01/02/wifi_8_feature/

[13] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



Tom Chiverton 1

Geez. Broadband speed != wifi speed. Who wrote this claptrap?

Ol'Peculier

But how many times do you see people ask "has everybody's Wifi gone down?

And you trty to educate them by suggesting they plug a network cable in, if possible and their eyes glaze over.

Microwaves don't pass well through water?

Anonymous Coward

Even just as fairly pretty cellulose sacs of mostly-water could be expected to badly affect wifi.

If you wrapped your hands around the aerial the signal strength would also drop. Because, again, you're mostly water. And water's really, really good at blocking wifi.

Speed vs multipath equalisation

steelpillow

Degradation by a passive transmission medium will only affect a digital signal if it causes multiple reflections which smear out each pulse. Multipath equalisation* to counteract this has been around since the days of GSM. Hide your microwave-frequency WiFi router among a shedload of well-watered plant pots, and as long as enough actually gets past to be detectable at all, the tech /ought/ to deal with it. Have the WiFi boffins lost the plot after all these years, or is our Broadband Giraffe having a Genie?

* FWIW that typically involves a training sequence and digital deconvolution to provide a correction factor

WiFi by Leaf

b0llchit

Meanwhile, the Wi-Fi 8 standard, [...], is set to focus on greater reliability and delivering a better experience...

Just wait for the WiFi 9 standard . It will be much greener while simplifying and improving all our experience by adopting plants and foliage to send and receive your WiFi signals. All you need is a new WiFi.9-RJ45 pot with your favourite plant and the signals will be great and Green. You will need 2.4, 5 and 6 GHz approved soils and water additives for optimal growth of your WiFi distribution jungle.

Also, genetically optimized WiFi plants (*) will improve your experience.

(*) Terms and Conditions apply. Plants may send telemetric data back, for example, for environmental checks, including water and lighting levels and conditions. Your plant(s) may be terminated if you breach the plant Terms of Service or try to multiply your plant.

Re: WiFi by Leaf

Caver_Dave

Up vote for the T&C

Re: WiFi by Leaf

ParlezVousFranglais

Truth is stranger than fiction - search "propagate ppaf" and you might be surprised...

Clearly a Krynoid tactic to block communications

Empire of the Pussycat

AVR

Sticking a router behind a pot to keep the sun off it isn't totally daft, but I'm not sure I want to give the writer at Broadband Genie any particular credit since they seem to have a very odd vision of the contents of even a houseplant enthusiast's home.

alain williams

My mother would have put the router behind the plant pot simply because a plant looks nicer than some ugly piece of plastic with flashing lights.

Some people see things very differently than us techies.

Wifi Steering ?

PCScreenOnly

Wifi Signal: right, off, I can see the target device. Going NOW....... hold on, Peace Lily in the way, steer left, harder, steer right. Plant avoided, target sighted again..... aw fuck, Yukka incoming

Cats too are wave blockers

Sleep deprived

A lukewarm router is an excellent spot for a cat to wrap around while napping. And unlike plants, they can follow routers when they get moved. Solution: raise routers at the top of a mast in the middle of a room or screw them to the ceiling if there's a nearby electric outlet.

Re: Cats too are wave blockers

xyz

This was a meme back in the day...cats on a toasty starlink dish

https://cdn.teslanorth.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/cats-dish.jpg

Heat-seaking noses

Mishak

From the way mine behave, they can detect the 0.1ºC difference due to the heat from a pipe under the floor (but not in contact with it) that's covered with a thick carpet.

Edited to add:

I only found it when I was using a thermal imaging camera to check the insulation.

Re: Cats too are wave blockers

Throatwarbler Mangrove

I lost a router this way. One of my cats used it as a napping spot, and the router overheated under heavy load (both data and feline) and thus expired.

oh and...

Sparkus

That place in the basement up between the water heater and hvac plant, surrounded by water-filled pipes. You know the one.

Don't use that spot either.

Powerline adapters with a phase-bridge-coupler at the breaker panel still function and function well.

Jargon Coiner (#5)

An irregular feature that aims to give you advance warning of new jargon
that we've just made up.

* DUKE OF URL: A person who publishes their Netscape bookmark file on
their homepage.

* WWWLIZE (pronounced wuh-wuh-wuh-lize): Habit of unconsciously appending
www. in front of URLs, even when it's not necessary.

* DUBYA-DUBYA-DUBYA: Common pronounciation of "double-u double-u double-u"
when orally specifying a wwwlized address.

* ADVOIDANCE: iding a particularly annoying advertising banner by dragging
another window over it, or by placing your hand on the monitor to cover
it up.

Example: "Bob advoided any Microsoft banners he came across."