Bored developers accidentally turned their watercooler into a bootleg brewery
- Reference: 1758526215
- News link: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2025/09/22/who_me/
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This week, meet a reader we'll Regomize as "Sherman" who once worked as a senior software engineer for a Dutch internet service provider.
The developers tried to debug the watercooler …
"Even though there was a never-ending backlog of new development initiatives, code deployment was the limiting factor in this company," he told Who, Me?
Bureaucracy was to blame for the bottleneck: Company policy required the chief security officer and chief technology officer to approve every code change.
"This meant our department became gridlocked quite often, and we had lots of free time on our hands," Sherman wrote. He and his fellow developers therefore tried to work on worthy side projects, but also sometimes found themselves unable to resist frivolity. Which was why one day some staff arrived at work to find a sprinkling of black keycaps on their beige keyboards, and vice versa.
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All that fun took place in the basement of the 17th-century canal-side Amsterdam building the ISP called home, until it expanded into an adjacent office of 1970s vintage and the developers were sent into that new facility.
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The new office lacked air conditioning, so as their first summer in the new digs heated up, Sherman and his team found themselves quaffing a lot of cold drinks.
Lemonade became a favorite, made by mixing syrup with cold water from team's water cooler.
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The devs drank so much lemonade that one of them came up with a bright idea: Pouring the syrup into the bottle that sat atop the water cooler, to remove the extra step of mixing the two liquids. "We would have premade, cold, lemonade whenever we wanted it," Sherman enthused.
This was easier said than done, because the bottles that fit this watercooler had a protective cap that a little wedge inside the machine opened when someone dropped a bottle in place.
The lemonade scheme necessitated removal of the cap to add syrup and then turned predictably messy as Sherman and his fellow developers tried to fashion a replacement cap and insert a 20 liter bottle of lemonade in place with minimal spillage.
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"We failed miserably doing this, and some of us got soaked in lemonade, but we succeeded in getting the bottle on top of the watercooler," Sherman wrote. "Our plan worked: We now had a watercooler that would dispense ice-cold lemonade."
The devs were so chuffed with their work that they invited colleagues from other departments to observe their handiwork.
The fun didn't last because a few days later, the developers started to notice "weird floating things in the lemonade."
Sherman said the lemonade still tasted fine on Friday, but on Monday he and his team arrived to find a watercooler full of floating mold and fungus.
One brave soul sipped the lemonade, which was foul to the taste.
[6]After deleting a web server, I started checking what I typed before hitting 'Enter'
[7]Playing ball games in the datacenter was obviously stupid, but we had to win the league
[8]I was a part-time DBA. After this failover foul-up, they hired a full-time DBA
[9]CIO made a dangerous mistake and ordered his security team to implement it
The developers therefore tried to debug the watercooler and learned the machine only cooled liquid in a small chamber between the neck of the bottle and the taps.
"We had basically left the rest of the lemonade exposed to summer heat," Sherman deduced. He and his crew also figured out that every time they poured a glass, the air that bubbled up into the bottle brought more bacteria and oxygen into an already sugar-rich environment in which fermentation was clearly taking place.
So they'd basically built a very crude brewery.
"We made sure to get rid of the lemonade before anyone noticed and cleaned the water cooler thoroughly," Sherman wrote. But no amount of scrubbing could remove the horrible taste that now permeated the machine.
"So that evening we stayed after closing time and we swapped our watercooler with the one used by the chief technology officer and chief security officer," he told Who, Me?
What technology have you abused when bored, and what was the result? [10]Click here to confess to Who, Me? If we run your story, we promise to treat it carefully so we don't brew trouble for your career. ®
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[6] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/15/who_me/
[7] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/08/who_me/
[8] https://www.theregister.com/2025/09/01/who_me/
[9] https://www.theregister.com/2025/08/25/who_me/
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Re: should have left this job to the hardware team...
"Your developers were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
Re: should have left this job to the hardware team...
A rather accurate description of modern software development?
Re: should have left this job to the hardware team...
Needed a BA or Architect for that
the dev's just solved their problem
Well Done
An entirely reasonable solution to the problem!
Re: Well Done
That was indeed a BOFHworthy ending to the story!
When Life Gives You Lemons...
... make Hooch.
inquiring mind wants to know
after having now an unusable water cooler
were the chief technology officer and chief security officer faster in approving?
They forgot to add the right fungi
Yeast is pretty good at keeping the bad stuff out, but you have to add it early on.
Many moons ago, when I was gone for a week ...
... my roommate decided that brewing beer in the watercooler would be a good idea. So he purchased a five-gallon beer kit, dumped it into a new bottle of water, and up-ended it on top of the cooler.
He figured that the fresh bottle of water would have no growies in it, so it would work fine without boiling per the instructions.[0] Then he headed for his girlfriend's house across town for a long weekend, being sure to turn off the apartment's HVAC to save money (we were starving students). This was on Wednesday afternoon. A very hot and sunny Wednesday afternoon. In a South facing kitchen, with a big plate-glass sliding door out to the balcony.
I arrived home Friday night from a conference at BBN to find the yeast farts (CO2) had managed to push the liquid out of the bottle, and all over the kitchen floor. There was about a quarter inch of proto-beer goo everywhere, soaking into the carpet of the room adjacent, and getting sucked up by the bottom of the cheap wood of the cabinetry.
I already had my bags packed, so I headed for my GF's place, and had the rest of my junk out before he made it home on Monday afternoon.
[0] This is NOT true. Don't do it. Follow the instructions that came with the kit. They exist for a reason.
should have left this job to the hardware team...
> and learned the machine only cooled liquid in a small chamber between the neck of the bottle and the taps.
Yes, hindsight is 20/20 and all that, yet - this limitation would have been obvious to anyone touching the water canister when it was, say, half full. Or half empty.