And the big problem is that driving one of these makes you look a complete bell end.

They are an investment! In five years, when only two of them are still working, they will be worth millions!

But complete bell ends think it makes them look great.

True, but that's the sort of thinking that shows just why they're complete bell ends, isn't it?

The body can't take weather.

The tires impale themselves.

The pedal is loose until rivet.

The glue deteriorates.

The back falls apart.

A mirror of Musks personality?

No. He doesn't have one.

I think it's nice that the car recycles itself as you drive it. So I would move this latest issue into the pro column.

A mirror of Musks personality?

Can it do a Nazi salute?

[1]https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/mar/20/elon-musk-daughter-vivian-jenna-wilson-salute

[1] https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/mar/20/elon-musk-daughter-vivian-jenna-wilson-salute

I bet it can! If something from the right door breaks by a calm tailwind...

In terms of quality Tesla seems to be at same level as Datsun circa 1978.

Come on, Datsun were never that bad!

Even 1978 British Leyland wasn't that bad!

At least the Datsuns were cheap.

My parents' first car was a secondhand Datsun originally sold in... 1978. (No, really).

Its achilles heel was that it was susceptible to rust in the UK climate- something which was already approaching terminal around the time it failed its MOT and it got replaced when it wasn't yet eight years old.

Yet aside from that, my Dad remembers it being a good and easily-maintained car. I suspect it was probably more reliable (and better value for money) than many British Leyland cars et al back then.

(And honestly, it probably wasn't all *that* much worse for rust than many other cars of its era. Not saying it was good in that respect, but rust on *all* cars was a way bigger deal at that time, and still a major problem well into the 1980s. Cars just didn't last as long back then.)

Back then anywhere that put salt on the roads, cars didn't last long.

Anywhere that didn't put salt on the roads, even then plenty cars lasted plenty long.

only it seems C5s were better built.

To be fair, for it's day the C5 was actually built in a rather clever way.

Seem to recall the two halves of the polycarbonate bodyshell were effectively welded together using electrically-activated strips of tape.

The Cybertruck isn't so much a C5 as a C4 in the way it blows itself apart over time.

I honestly thought it would be a whole lot more by now, perhaps there's hope for humanity yet.

Considering there were >250K reservations (supposedly) and plenty of unsold stock those numbers aren't too impressive. Though does again prove that the supply of tasteless idiots with too much money isn't running short.

Maybe it sold better than the electric F150 or the Hummer EV but in the grand scheme of US truck sales all the electric ones are totally insignificant in a market that numbers in millions of units per year.

....and proves that it is genuinely a clown car, if bits of it detach themselves at random.

It's even [1]driven by clowns .

[1] https://media-cldnry.s-nbcnews.com/image/upload/t_fit-860w,f_auto,q_auto:best/rockcms/2025-03/250311-donald-trump-tesla-ew-444p-6d3252.jpg

In simple terms, the glue was not suitable for North American climate.

Did Elon have a bigger hand in the minutiae of the design process than previously believed.

It's just another Tesla product engineered with the assumption that engineering for California is enough. Cold/wet/salty/etc. conditions are all imaginary.

Probably tested it in an environmental chamber that only included vertical rain.

Vertical rain? NO! [1]Don't leave your cybertruck [2]in the rain !

[1] https://www.theregister.com/2024/02/13/tesla_cybertruck_rust/

[2] https://www.flyingpenguin.com/?p=55326

Is it not now a federal offence to denigrate the Wank Panzer? If so, suggesting it is a shoddily made gewgaw by issuing a recall could put Tesla in hot water.

Hey look at this crazy concept!’

‘Cool - ship it’

‘But this is just a prototype’

‘Does it drive?’

‘Yeah, it’s a working prototype’

‘Then it’s finished, ship it’

‘Okayyy’

That's *exactly* what the Cybertruck's engineering comes across as.

Something you'd expect to have been a prototype or mostly working mockup to get the point across, but all lashed-together shoddiness and short-term corner-cuts under the surface. The sort of things you'd expect to have been implemented and engineered properly in the production version.

Part recalled due to spot weld corroding and falling out.

is why people don't buy US cars, despite usually being less expensive.

The build quality is usually utter shit with badly fitting panels, cheap plastics, poor assembly and inefficient engines.

You forgot the part about being nearly impossible to fix.

I have a good deal of first hand experience with auto manufacturing with several US, Japanese, and European car brands. US Ford and GM cars are reasonably well made. I don't like their current model line up in North America, but they're reasonably well made. Chrysler has always had a reputation for being less well made, but I would still put them as better than Tesla.

Tesla though have always been known for poor build quality and questionable design engineering. They have always sold purely due to brand promotion and image. They got into the US electric car market early and a heavy focus on the California market got them a lot of publicity with celebrities and people who write about celebrities.

They basically sell a Lada or Trabant grade product at BMW prices. If you want an electric car you are much better off buying one from one of the long established major brands who will sell you a much better made and designed car for the same price or less.

I won't be surprised if Tesla end up going out of business or if their assets are bought by someone else for a small fraction of their current stock market value. They are a luxury brand that sell a poorly made product based on image. That image is being steadily undermined by the antics of a certain rather questionable person. Once their image is tarnished nobody has a reason to buy one anymore.

They need to talk to Apple and borrow some iPhone battery glue. That stuff'll take a direct hit from a nuke, I think.

The main problem with the iPhone battery is having to remove most of the rest of the phone from the case before you can even get to the battery. The glue is just an added bonus round.

iPhone battery glue? Might be good but nothing beats dried Weetabix.

bogies!

Well, Musk has a good supply of those nowadays; just gotta stop Donald getting them wiped away.

Meh. I think that's more a Tesla-specific issue than a general US one. Build quality of Ford, GM cars is usually OK, they've been doing it a long time. (Not saying anything about Chrysler, those things are rare outside the US and for good reason IMO.)

What's not OK is the design, most importantly the assumption that efficiency is for losers.

Also a problem: more than one set of engine designs that couldn't last beyond 100K miles even with recommended maintenance back when Toyota of the time could easily last 300K+.

Every time Tesla fails it is music to my ears!

The vehicles themselves now come fitted with Level 5 Full Self Disassembly as standard.

It's 50/50 whether there's anyone actually setting the things on fire. Leave 'em sitting out on the lot for long enough, odds are at least one will go up and take a few others with it in a light drizzle.