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Heart FM's borkfast show – a fine way to start your day

(2021/10/18)


There can be few things worse than Microsoft Windows elbowing itself into a presenting partnership, as seen in this digital signage for the Heart breakfast show.

For those unfamiliar with the station, Heart is a UK national broadcaster with Global as its parent. It currently consists of a dozen or so regional stations with a number of shows broadcast nationally. Including a perky breakfast show featuring former Live and Kicking presenter Jamie Theakston and Britain's Got Talent judge, Amanda Holden.

[1]

Click to enlarge

And, it would appear, Microsoft Windows. A co-star that nobody asked for.

In this instance, the radio show hosted by the twosome is being advertised on some signage at Putney Rail Station. Affiliated, it seems, with TalkTalk (notable for rhyming with "BorkBork" and not always seen troubling the top of the customer satisfaction charts), the signage is using Windows to flaunt its wares.

[2]Mind your Ps and queues: Bork makes a visit to the A&E

[3]Meatballs, Abba, and bork: 3 things Sweden is famous for

[4]A most uncivil display in New York's Civil Court

[5]Happy birthday, Microsoft Money: Here's a cashpoint calamity for Windows and .NET

And Windows has done what Windows does best by displaying an application error, partially obscuring the happy visage of Ms Holden while Mr Theakston stares out with gritted teeth, blessedly free of a warning dialog.

We're not entirely sure what has caused the error. We think something has failed to start correctly, but sadly there appears to be nobody around to click OK and restore Holden to her full glory. Perhaps a slideshow can't find a resource? Maybe some network connectivity is not all it could be? Or might it just be something leaking memory like a sieve. It's hard to tell without a prod of the event logs.

After all, like the high-maintenance partner that it is, so many things seem to upset Windows and its application.

[6]

Still, the show must go on, so spread some Marmite on your toast and pour some milk on the cereal, for it is breakfast time. With Jamie, Amanda, and now Microsoft Windows. A tip of the hat to Rob from southwest London, who sent this in. ®

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[1] https://regmedia.co.uk/2021/10/15/bork_7.jpg

[2] https://www.theregister.com/2021/10/14/bork/

[3] https://www.theregister.com/2021/10/12/bork/

[4] https://www.theregister.com/2021/10/06/bork/

[5] https://www.theregister.com/2021/10/08/bork/

[6] https://pubads.g.doubleclick.net/gampad/jump?co=1&iu=/6978/reg_offbeat/bootnotes&sz=300x50%7C300x100%7C300x250%7C300x251%7C300x252%7C300x600%7C300x601&tile=2&c=2YW2aOja6al6w-Dc40JrkIgAAAJc&t=ct%3Dns%26unitnum%3D2%26raptor%3Dcondor%26pos%3Dtop%26test%3D0

[7] https://whitepapers.theregister.com/



wolfetone

" And, it would appear, Microsoft Windows. A co-star that nobody asked for. "

In an alternate universe, Theakston is there posing with Microsoft Windows - and Amanda Holden is the error which no one asked for or wanted.

JimboSmith

Couldn't have happened to a nicer company. Global that is not TFL.

Nip in the bud

Anonymous Coward

Since a bork is definitely a thing, all of these displays should use the much vaunted connectivity the IoT promises.

As soon as a bork shows up, it should phone.... somewhere that has a routine or a meatsack who could immediately remedy the problem thereby nipping it in the bud.

Re: Nip in the bud

Lon24

Alternatively just use one of those microcomputery thingymejobs better designed for the task and probably costing less than the Windows license alone. Oh, and using a lot less leccy.

Re: Nip in the bud

TRT

Do you mean a printed poster? Do you know the carbon footprint of making paper, ink, printing etc?*

*Answer - it's a lot, lot, lot less than one of these Digital displays. Not so sure on the carbon footprint of sending a Jo-in-a-van out to change them once a month, though. Mind you, given the amount of printed paper that last came in the box with a computer & Windows installation... in every language possible...

Re: Nip in the bud

Anonymous Coward

Could they have a printer at the top and a shredder at the bottom on continuous paper?

Re: Nip in the bud

2+2=5

> Could they have a printer at the top and a shredder at the bottom on continuous paper?

I think Banksy has patented the shredder at the bottom bit already.

Re: Nip in the bud

TRT

That would be a work of art!

jollyboyspecial

They only have about twenty seven listeners, family and fr... well family, so nobody will have noticed.

For those outside the UK

IGotOut

Heart is part of a conglomeration of "local" radio stations.

They general play the same bland, middle of the road sings, 80% of which are old classics (read the most overplayed records in history). Throw in some "wacky" presenters and you are good to go.

And when I say local, it's really a national radio company that just plays lip service with some local adverts and a couple of local news headlines.

Seriously, you couldn't get more dreary radio if you tried.

Re: For those outside the UK

TRT

I prefer Magic FM. Same old songs that have been played to death, but somehow better.

They really should rebrand some of their local stations anyway. Heart Herts is just too much.

Re: For those outside the UK

Charlie Clark

The really sad thing is how popular bland is. Whether it's music, cheese, beer or whatever. people love to play it safe.

Re: For those outside the UK

BenDwire

If you want a much better radio experience, then give [1]Radio Paradise a try - very eclectic, no ads, no inane talking and is financially supported by those listeners that like it that way.

Admittedly it's internet only, but for those who can, it's worth it!

[1] https://radioparadise.com

Re: For those outside the UK

Ol'Peculier

Greatest Hits Radio?

Bought out lots of local radio stations, sacked all the staff, closed the offices down (well, the one just up the road from the office closed last month) and produce the minimum content to satisfy OFCOM about regional programming.

Bleah - Fart FM

Sam Therapy

My missis used to listen to those two annoying twats until I asked her to either change stations or switch the damn thing off. Not only are those two enough to make you take a hammer to the radio, the station itself seems to have a library of around 100 songs which they constantly recycle. Over a year since I stopped having the thing inflicted on me, I went somewhere that was playing Heart and, surprise surprise, they were playing the same bleedin' songs as when I last heard 'em.

Oh, and they're sponsored by TalkTalk, if you really need another reason to dislike them.

Do you have lysdexia?