Unobfuscated Perl (#1)
A rogue group of Perl hackers has presented a plan to add a "use
really_goddamn_strict" pragma that would enforce readability and
UNobfuscation. With this pragma in force, the Perl compiler might say:
* Warning: Program contains zero comments. You've probably never seen or
used one before; they begin with a # symbol. Please start using them or
else a representative from the nearest Perl Mongers group will come to
your house and beat you over the head with a cluestick.
* Warning: Program uses a cute trick at line 125 that might make sense in
C. But this isn't C!
* Warning: Code at line 412 indicates that programmer is an idiot. Please
correct error between chair and monitor.
* Warning: While There's More Than One Way To Do It, your method at line
523 is particularly stupid. Please try again.