The Humorix Oracle explains how to get a job at a major corporation:

1. Find an exploit in Microsoft IIS or another buggy Microsoft product to
which large corporations rarely apply security patches.
2. Create a virus or worm that takes advantage of this exploit and then
propogates itself by selecting IP numbers at random and then trying to
infect those machines.
3. Keep an eye on your own website's server logs. When your virus starts
propogating, your server will be hit with thousands of attacks from
other infected systems trying to spread the virus to your machine.
4. Make a list of the IP numbers of all of the infected machines.
5. Perform a reverse DNS lookup on these IP numbers.
6. Make a note of all of the Fortune 500 companies that appear on the list
of infected domains.
7. Send your resume to these companies and request an interview for a
system administrator position. These companies are hiring -- whether
they realize it or not.
8. Use your new salary to hire a good defense lawyer when the FBI comes
knocking.